Still Believing in Happily Ever After

Meda White

One of my favorite people is getting married again today. It’s not to the same person they were previously married to, although I have seen that done. That was one of the most memorable weddings I’ve ever witnessed. Because of the informality of the ceremony, the sister of the groom paid him back for a little incident at her wedding. This is the South. If your imagination strayed toward beer cans leaking from tuxedo pockets and bridesmaids in combat boots, you’re on the right track.
Thinking about second and third marriages made me wonder about the formality, or lack thereof, of the ceremony. My dad spent a bundle on my first wedding and that marriage only made it two years. The second time around, my husband and I had to pay for the wedding ourselves, so we eloped and took an awesome honeymoon trip to the Netherlands. That was thirteen years ago and we’re still living our happily ever after.

Most people I know, who have walked the aisle more than once, do it less elaborately after the first time. I don’t believe that is because of low expectations. When we commit our lives to someone in marriage, whether it’s for the first time or the last, we still have to believe it’s a permanent situation. I think we do it less elaborately on the second or third go because the focus has shifted. It’s more about the relationship at the center of things than the pomp surrounding the ceremony.

As a romance writer, I’ve written several weddings and none of them have been big and fancy. They’re all intimate gatherings or elopements, even the ones marrying for the first time. Is it because my characters are older and wiser? Maybe. Is it because my personal experience has taught me to focus more on the marriage than the wedding? Probably.
I hope my loved ones have found their happily ever after with each other. I wish them many happy years together.
If you could tie the knot all over again, knowing what you know now, would you do it differently? Do you still believe in Happily Ever After? 
 

 

 

8 Comments

  1. I’ve got my happily ever after and I wouldn’t change a thing! He is my heart. After ten years together, he is still my best friend and the love of my life. Neither of us were first timers, but I believe it made us wiser and more focused. Keep up the great work Meda. ♥

  2. I definitely have found my happily ever after. He is not only my partner but my best friend, my rock. Before John, I never truly knew love. We have been through and still going through a lot but I would not choose anyone else to share the rest of my life with. I agree keep up the wonderful work.

    1. Yay! You guys are great together. It’s wonderful to have your true love share your journey– good times and bad. Stay strong and I hope you’ll have many, many more years of happiness together.

  3. Happily ever after comes in so many forms. When you finally realize happiness comes from within and that no matter the circumstances you can choose to be happy or miserable, depending on your state of mind; you learn that though your significant other may contribute to your wellbeing, you are thé one who chooses. My significant other and I decided we would be better friends than lovers so we parted ways. He is the most wonderful person I’ve ever known, generous to a fault, kind, supportive, interesting,intelligent, a Christian, a loving father, and my best friend. We made beautiful memories, and we remain the best of friends. We will always be there for each other. Most of the time when we are together we drive each other to drink. I am still grateful for this relationship and for having this person as part of my life.

    1. I love that you still have a close relationship with your significant other. When I met my husband he asked if I thought people needed others to make them happy. My response was that I think you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else. If you depend on others for that, they might let you down. Every day we wake up, we choose to get out of bed, love somebody (or a lot of somebodies), and make it the best day it can be. Wishing you a lifetime of happiness and love.

  4. I completely concur with Charlotte’s statement above. As a divorce attorney I see all too many happily ever afters come to a dramatic end, often with the love turning to spite, vengefulness, resentment and all out hatred. However, in my line of work and in my life, I’ve realized that what works for one couple may not work for another. It’s best not to be defined by society’s expectations of happily ever after and instead to find your own way…together. I’ve often heard that a successful marriage is not about finding the right person, it’s about being the right person. This is so true and sums up that happiness, indeed, comes from within.

    1. I love that line about being the right person. I might “borrow” it for future use. I bet you see a lot of people at their worst because of your job. Divorce is not usually pretty but I bet the day they said “I do”, they were thinking of Happily Ever After. Like you said, finding your own way instead of going along with what’s happening around you, is a good plan. Best wishes for love and happiness.

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